As time has passed the world has changed and life moves on, but the promises of my youth have faded. After the Moon landings there were no trips to Mars, no Moon base, no Jet Pacs and no Air Cars. Sure the technology has advanced and science has made startling new discovery’s but the world we thought we were promised as kids has never materialised.

Last year I watched the film Blade Runner again, for the first time in many years, and something startled me. The opening credits read, “Los Angeles 2019″. It’s startling because at the time the film was made it was deemed reasonable for that date to be an acceptable time frame for the technology and level of development displayed in the film. It’s clear to all of us now that in 8 years time the world we live in will be nothing like that.

But there is something else which is equally startling.

There is nothing in my home now that belongs in the future that was promised to us by 2000AD or 2001 or Blade Runner, except for the thing that I wrote this post on.

My iPod touch.

It is an outstanding piece of technology and its presence in the world tells you all you need to know about Steve Jobs importance to technology, his contribution to the world and now sadly loss. Steve saw the future and acted on it. Whilst others stood still, he lassoed the technology industry and dragged it kicking and screaming in to the future with him. It is that drive and attention to detail, the insistence not to compromise and forethought to divine the right vision that set Steve apart from his contemporaries and has led to the creation of the only device that I have that I can truly claim to be a small piece of the future that never was.

My iPod touch belongs to the future, it belongs in the hands of David Bowman on board the Odyssey in 2001 and it belongs to the inhabitants of the colonies of Mars in Blade Runner. It belongs to the future that never was.

That is truly inspiring and for this I am very grateful to Steve Jobs.

R.I.P Steve Jobs.

The journey took a little over two hours and we used the time to discuss her stay and joked about her coming back in 2012 to take part in the Olympics. She was very widely travelled and I took the opportunity to discus this with her too. It was fascinating to hear her experiences in so many different country’s around the world and all told with such enthusiasm.
“In every country in the World”, she said, “You will always find something wonderful and unique to inspire you.”
She had certainly led an inspiring life. At one point in the journey we got held up in traffic and worrying about check in and departure times I put my foot down once on the open motorway. You have never seen such a dignified elder lady wear such a broad and excited smile whilst travelling in excess of 130MPH.

We made the check in, in time and kissed good bye with her customary all embracing hug. That was the last time I saw my Auntie Leoni, she leaves behind fond memory’s and warm thoughts, not forgotten. I remember her parting words clearly as she winked at me, “Goodbye my darling. And I do like your car!”

The following was taken from the YWCA Australia website. Link below.

Vale Leoni Durrant
YWCA Victoria and YWCA Australia extend their sympathy to the family of Leoni Durrant, former Executive Director of the YWCA of Melbourne and Member of the YWCA Australia Board, who has passed away. We celebrate Leoni’s magnificent contribution to the YWCA movement. Leoni’s two decades of service as the Executive Director of the YWCA of Melbourne (now YWCA Victoria) included the development of the Elizabeth Street Hotel, a lasting legacy for the association.

Leoni became Executive Director following the well loved, and most capable, Joyce Truelove. She brought with her a range of skills that enabled the YWCA of Melbourne to move ahead.

Leoni came in when the decision was made to move from the out-dated building in Collins Street to the site of the present Jasper Hotel in Elizabeth Street (which is still owned and managed by YWCA Victoria). With unfailing energy, Leoni oversaw the upheaval necessary to relocate and re-energise the association. The current work in upgrading Richmond House as part of YWCA Victoria’s social housing program would be most appreciated by Leoni.

In Leoni’s era, the YWCA of Melbourne oversaw strong YWCA clubs, worked with newly arrived migrants to support them, maintained housewives’ groups, and assisted the rehabilitation of recently-released prisoners as well as managing buildings.

Leoni also gave service to the national movement in so many ways. She served on the Victorian State Committee, the National Executive, attended World Councils, took part in the World International Training Institutes, and was ever-ready to help out other local associations when they were in need. Many women around Australia felt they could call on Leoni for advice. Leoni also forged bonds with other organisations and was an able advocate for women’s causes.

Leoni was yet another woman whose contribution to our Association is impossible to quantify. We farewell a good friend and honour her memory.

The original article can be found here: http://www.ywca.org.au/news/vale-leoni-durrant

Check out the link above. If you are looking for the most wilfully ignorant, stupid, grossly dense and idiotic article ever written, then you wont be disappointed.

“Home working: Why can’t everyone telework?”

Well lets see….

Home working might pose a problem for..

Firemen,
Chefs,
Fishermen,
Retail Staff,
Care Workers,
Bin Men,
Farmers,
Photographers,
Construction Workers,
Security Guards,
Bus, Train and Lorry Drivers,
Life Guards,
Airline Pilots,
Marine Biologists,
Stage Actors,
Surgeons,
Dentists,
Laboratory Assistants,
Mountain Rescue Teams,
The Police,
Archaeologists,
Nuclear Plant Workers,
Coal Miners,
Oil Refinery Workers,
Ships Captains,
Tank Drivers,
Infantry,
Motorcycle Couriers,
Submariners,
Astronauts,
Dinner Ladies,
Lollipop Men /Ladies,
School Teachers,
Bakers,
Window Cleaners,
Road Resurfacing Workers,
Livestock Breeders,
Vets,
Tree Surgeons,
Meter Readers,
Television Repair Men,
Telecom Exchange Workers,
Plumbers,
Electricians,
Painters and Decorators,

etc,

etc,

etc.

The list can go on and on.

Welcome to the BBC’s world. Dumb as a rock.

Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.
Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium,” and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise.”

3. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’; you may elect to spell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you find you simply can’t cope with correct pronunciation.

4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up “vocabulary”). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

5. There is no such thing as “US English.” We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize.”

6. You will relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”, but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).

7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called “Come-Uppance Day.”

8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables… Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British sense of humour.

12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling “gasoline”) – roughly $8/US per gallon. Get used to it.

13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call french fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar.

14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.” American brands will be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors as English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” was an experience akin to having one’s ear removed with a cheese grater.

17. You will cease playing American “football.” There is only one kind of proper football; you call it “soccer”. Those of you brave enough, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of Jessies – English slang for “Big Girls Blouse”).

18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable and forgiven.

19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776.

Thank you for your co-operation.

John Cleese